What’s your place in the family and are you happy with it? Do you feel respected and treated like the queen of the house or do you feel like Cinderella, cleaning up after everyone, knowing this can’t be all there is to life? Do you feel you mat- ter just as much as everyone else in the family?
It’s crucial to keep a sense of yourself in your own home. Your core identity in your community with your friends and peers needs to also match who you are at home. You can’t be the boss of your company or run an organisation, well- respected in your field, and come home to a family who treats you like a doormat. It doesn’t work that way. Ultimately, you’ll always feel out of balance and, somewhere along the line, something will have to give. More than likely it will be your sense of self that will go walkabout on you. Your job is to keep your sense of self front and centre, shining like a beacon for everyone to see, especially your family members inside that household. Below are some points to help you focus on identifying and establishing your place in the home.
• Set clear and firm boundaries. Setting clear and firm boundaries is one of the most important things that you can do to help you cement your place in your family.
• Schedule time for you. This is just as important as scheduling time for everyone else. You matter in the home just as much, if not more. Your time to do the things you want and enjoy needs to be respected as well.
• Cultural baggage. Don’t focus on what you don’t want to become; focus on what you do want to become. This is your life and you can create any family atmosphere and life that you want. If you’re not happy with how your home life is running and your place in it, then find the courage to stick up for yourself and change it.
There are many things you can do to assure that you keep a sense of yourself in your home. Know who you are, what you like and dislike and what your values are. People will try to change you, tell you how to think or act, but keep checking in with yourself. Remember – the husband may think he is the head of the house but you are the neck and you can turn it any way you want.
Keep smiling xx