As the second wife and stepmother in the family, you may feel that you don’t hold all the cards and you can’t control where things are going. I’m here to tell you that you can and you will. You have the power to write your own story and watch it come to life. People say, “I’ll believe it when I see it,” but the truth is, you need to believe it before you will ever see it!
The time has come for things to change, for you to live the life that you want. A blended family does not mean a life of hell and resentment. I t’s just like any other family, except maybe some of the kids are not your biological children. Your husband may have had a family before you, but, now he’s a part of your family. These family dynamics don’t mean that you’re destined for a hard life. It just means that it may need a little more juggling, understanding, respect and maturity than most families.
Writing your own story means that you get to set the boundaries, you get to create your date nights and time with your partner, you get to set the house rules in your home. You get to decide how your mood and personality is going to be that day. You get to plan the future for your blended family. You get to create your life and write your own story.
No matter how far down the track you are with your blended family and no matter how much water is under the bridge, you can still turn things around for the better. And if you’re a newbie to the second wives community and the stepmum world, you have a clean slate and you can start to write your own fresh story.
Times are changing, and there’s more information out there than ever to help us through every step of our lives. Take the information that’s at your fingertips and put it into practice. “We don’t know what we don’t know” (as Rumsfeld infamously said!) but once you do know, you’re armed with the information to make your life better, so go for it.
If anything was possible, what would you like to see happen with your family? How would you be treated and how would you treat people? Where would you live and where would you go? Dream the biggest dream you can for your blended family and start to move towards that dream one day at a time. There will be great days and there will be days when you feel like all your hard work has taken 10 steps backwards. But this is your life, and you’ are writing your story, so keep moving forward.
Many years ago I read a poem by Linda Ellis called “The Dash”. I have never forgotten it’s powerful advice. “ The Dash” is all about the dash between the line of the day you were born and the day you died; for example, 14/10/1967 — 21/04/1999. The dash between those dates is your life! How do you want the dash to represent you? How do you want to be remembered in that dash? The dash is everything about you on this earth, the life you’ve lived, the person you’ve become, the legacy you’ve created, and everything else in between. The dash is the most important thing in your life. Focus on filling that dash with as many positive experiences as you can, and look at your life as a big amazing adventure!
There has never been a better time than now. More blended families are being formed every day, so why not be an example of a second wife who decided to write and star in her own story? And the Academy Award goes to… you!