Becoming the “second wife” or a “stepmum” can feel like the road less travelled, but the reality is, that is no longer the case. This road is becoming much busier, with more and more women jumping on this road less travelled everyday. There are women who are further down the road than others, and there are women who have just arrived.
Somewhere along the way they made a detour and changed lanes, they ended up on this road. It’s funny, how you can be happily heading down one road, or path, believing all your plans are in place, and you know exactly where you are heading. You started out with the end in mind, and set out to make that future a reality for your self. And then BOOM! How did I get here? When did I change lanes? Who am I?
In the distance, you notice this road is not as smooth, it has a lot more potholes that you can’t seem to avoid. Some parts of the road become dirt, before they become road again. There are no flowers or trees along the road, there is a storm every other day, and it seems like a never ending incline that you are walking.
Well my friends, this is the second wives/stepmum’s road to glory! Not what you pictured for your life, when you were young, happily imagining your marriage and family, and the picturesque road you would all be traveling down together. This is certainly not what you imagined, family and friends yelling, I hope you know what your getting yourself into, as you jumped lanes. No-one sets out to become the second wife or a stepmum, it just happens this way.
This may be the road that we have chosen, but, we can choose how we want this journey to be. The one’s that have gone before you, have been clearing this road for you. They have consciously and deliberately been planting flowers and trees along the way. They have filled in all the pot holes, where land mines once exploded. They have left signs along the way, of what to expect ahead. And they know that you are going to be ok. So, no more surprises and worry of anticipation about what’s around the corner. They will guide you through it.
This is the reason I wrote the book The Second Wives’ Guide, everyone needs a guide, a mentor, a coach, someone that has been there before, who can guide you through. A beacon of hope, when it all seems to hard, and you want to get off. The road less travelled is now becoming the road most travelled. We still have our challenges along the way, but it’s how we see and perceive these challenges that makes all the difference.
Focus on making this road you are traveling down, a road that you love, that brings you joy. Try not to become, exhausted or resentful on this road, look up, and look around and notice the beauty that the one’s before you have pathed for you. Life is what you make of it, do you see dirt roads and potholes or do you see a sunny smooth road, full of hope leading you and your blended family to it’s destination. Keep smiling on this road less travelled and always remember – You are second to none!!