People regularly ask me what is the best advice you can give someone who is about to become a second wife or stepparent. And what do you say to someone who has been in their blended family and wanting to turn the ship around.
I often reply – that there are no quick fixes or magic spells in life. Anything worthwhile will take time and effort. But I also believe that as second wives and step-parents, we need to lighten up! Looking back over the last 14 years, I took many things too personally and I let other people’s opinions affect me.
The best advice I can give is to run your own race and don’t look back to see who’s breathing down your neck. You already know they’re there, so stay focused on what’s in front of you. It’s your life and you’re worthy of love, a fabulous marriage and a beautiful family.
There will always be the haters; that’s one thing you can count on in life. There will always be people who judge you; that’s a given. But it’s how you react and how you let it affect you that will determine your success.
The Rocky Balboa film has a great scene where Rocky is talking to his son, who resents his father for the way his life has turned out. Rocky says,
Let me tell you something you already know. The world ain’t all sunshine and rainbows. It’s a very mean and nasty place and I don’t care how tough you are, it will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently if you let it. You, me, or nobody is gonna hit as hard as life. But it ain’t about how hard ya hit. It’s about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward. How much you can take and keep moving forward. That’s how winning is done! Now if you know what you’re worth, then go out and get what you’re worth. But ya gotta be willing to take the hits, and not point fingers saying you ain’t where you wanna be because of him, or her or anybody! Cowards do that and that ain’t you! You’re better than that!
The world is not all sunshine and rainbows. We only have to turn on the news and see what’s going on in the world to understand that. Sometimes life hits hard, and as part of a blended family, you may take some hits. You may even get knocked out. You pick yourself up, dust yourself off, know what you’re worth and keep moving forward. Don’t let anyone stand in the way of the life you want and don’t point fingers, blame or hate. You’re better than that. Just know you’re courageous for choosing this road less travelled.
If you haven’t already, please don’t forget to join the Second Wives Community. You can do that by going to my website www.secondwiveshq.com
I would love to hear how my book has impacted or helped you as a second wife and stepparent in your blended family. Send me an email and let me know.
And always remember – You are Second to None!!
The Second Wives’ Guide
Angela Vassallo xx